Do we know our neighbours' children?

Eddy Elmer

The Stoney Creek News, 5 May 1999

A community is only as good as the children it raises. This is as true today as it was millions of years ago. Little has changed about children themselves; only the communities in which they group up have changed. They still need the attention, encouragement, challenges, and inspiration that only a community of parents, family, friends, and educators can provide.

Stoney Creek has always done its part to make its neighbourhoods the best possible for its children. However, in the wake of recent tragedies south of the border, many of us still wonder if there isn't more that we as a community can do to strengthen the bonds with our children and ensure that we send them out into the world with all they'll need to succeed.

It takes only a few glances at psychological research to realize that the more interconnected a community is—regardless of its size—the better its children feel about themselves and the less likely they are to feel disoriented, alienated, lost. As a citizen of this community, particularly as one of its younger ones, I urge everyone to take some time and think about our own neighborhoods and what we can do to foster our children's growth and development.

When thinking about our neighborhoods, we must be cautious not to think of them as existing in vacuums. They are live, interconnected networks whose ties with family, neighbours, school, and the commercial sector are equally important.

Do we know our neighbours' children? How often do we get together with other parents and talk about our children? Do we have other parents to turn to when we don't know why our children are behaving a certain way? Do the kids themselves feel comfortable enough to talk to parents, neighbours, and teachers about kids they feel may be going through a rough time? These are all questions we must ask ourselves.

How often are we meeting with our kids' teachers? Do we take an active role in their schoolwork and assignments? Are we volunteering at the schools? Having been a kid myself, I speak for many when I say that some kids would much rather be embarrassed by parents who cannot quit chaperoning school events than be disappointed by those who either are, or appear to be disinterested.

Do our local schools have parent-teacher associations? If not, we should consider contacting other parents and setting them up. When parents and educators team up, children feel part of the network and realize people care. They're more likely themselves to learn by such example and ensure that their own children will grow up feeling good about themselves.

We should keep our eye out for kids who don't have many friends or aren't too sociable; often these are the ones who show the most potential, but need the community to coax them out of their shell. We should never conclude that because a kid is shy she wants to be that way.

Finally, and most importantly, do our communities as a whole know what is happening in our kids' lives? As a group, do we know what they are interested in? Do we know what they do in their spare time? Do we know who their friends and role models are? More appropriately, do we even have the time to know these things?

It doesn't take very long to sit down and ponder these questions. And it certainly doesn't take very long to take a stand and put kids first—especially when we consider the rewards and benefits of doing so.

Please, do what you can do to maintain Stoney Creek's reputation as a solid, child-centered community, and never stop thinking about ways you can make kids feel they have a larger family, a family that believes in them and bestows their lives with purpose and meaning.