Dear Editor,
I think it's about more than just maturity and civility (Gay is the New Straight, Xtra #466, June 30). Many gay men—particularly those who've grown up in homonegative environments associate homosexuality with effeminacy, which in turn they associate with weakness and inferiority. To avoid being considered weak and inferior themselves, they try to bolster their sense of masculinity by publicly berating and thus distancing themselves from their effeminate peers.
Rudeness explains some of what you see in these online profiles, but the level of hostility towards the effeminate men often borders on histrionic.
If one prefers masculine men, it's sufficient to say that and nothing else. The ones who take it further often have problems with their sexual orientation and you would be wise to steer clear of them (and, of course, recognize that their hostile comments reflect on their own problems and not on you personally).
Eddy Elmer,
Vancouver, BC
Copyright © 2011, by Eddy M. Elmer
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