accelerator n. The foot-pedal one presses to make the car go faster. Americans call it the "gas pedal". aerial n. This is... well, ultimately I think it's just a bent bit of wire but I'm sure the manufacturers would curse if they caught me doing that. It's the device that gathers radio waves for your radio or television - Americans call them "antenna" (though I believe "aerial" is in limited use in the US too). afters n. Pudding (dessert, to save you looking it up). I once wrote here that we do not call appetizers "befores", only to get an email from an indignant lady telling me she did exactly that. Well, nobody I know calls appetisers "befores". We call them starters, which now I think about it is just as bad. Aga n. Another brand name that has slipped into the common vernacular, Aga is a company whose primary product is those giant cooking stoves that are filled with coal and the whole of the top of it gets very hot indeed. They're a bit dated now, but pretty much everyone's granny had one. The nearest US equivalent is "range", but it's not fantastically close as an Aga incorporates a cooker as well, whilst a range might not. I'm told "stove" is better - as I don't know an enormous amount about this sort of thing, I tend to pretty much write down anything anyone tells me. You could mail me saying an Aga's US equivalent was a Lincoln Continental and I'd probably stick it in here. agony aunt n. The newspaper employee who responds publically to readers' empassioned pleas for help on a wide range of issues, but generally sex. Best known in the US as an advice columnist. aluminium n. Okay, so it's not the most cryptic of language differences, but Americans spell this "aluminum". We pronounce it differently as well; we Brits really do say "ahl-yoo-minny-um". I've had a multitude of mail about this and as usual a lot of it is at odds. I can at least say that Hans Ørsted, the Danish gentleman who discovered it in 1824, had based its name on the Latin word "alumen", denoting the mineral alum. The difference in spelling seems to have originated when very early printed material advertising his talks on the subject contained the two different spellings in error. The general consensus seems to be that he had originally used the "British" spelling (bourne out by International Union of Pure and Applied Chemistry's use of it, and the "ium" suffix that already graced many metallic elements at the time) but as he clearly didn't make any efforts to correct anyone, perhaps he didn't care too much. anorak n. As well as being a waterproof jacket, an anorak is someone who's a little bit too knowledgeable about one subject. Generally a subject like seventeenth century flower pots or steam trains, rather than athletic sexual positions or gunfighting. Americans (and also Brits, as our languages merge ever closer) would call them "geeks". I have a feeling that it's because train-spotters all wear brightly-coloured anoraks, but I've no real basis for thinking that. This is just another example of me foisting my half-thought-out biased views on the general public via the one-way medium of the web. I love this dirty town. answerphone n. The device you plug into your telephone which answers it for you when you're out, playing an oh-so-hilarious message that you got from the internet, recorded from Seinfeldt or made up yourself whilst pissed and forgot about. Americans call them "answering machines", which is also used more than "answerphone" in the UK these days. anti-clockwise adv. As the phrase suggests, something which runs anti-clockwise is rotating in a direction which... err... isn't clockwise. Americans will know this better as counter-clockwise. Of course, anyone with half a brain could have worked this out themselves but never let it be said that I'm only paying lip-service to completeness. anyroad expl. Very much an equivalent of "anyway". I suppose, if you think about it, "any road" pretty much means "any way", erm, anyway. arse n. What you sit on; very close in meaning to the American ass. The only real way in which they differ is that you could call someone an "arse" without any adjective and without implying that you thought s/he was a donkey of some sort. We also say "can't be arsed" meaning much the same as "can't be bothered", and nowadays just "arse" in a similar way to "bollocks!". artic n. An abbreviation for "articulated", this is (in American-speak) an F-off truck or a "semi". The "articulated" part of it refers to the fact that it bends in the middle. aubergine n. The large purple pear-shaped vegetables that we on this side of the Atlantic know as aubergines what North Americans will recognise as eggplants. bairn n. Scottish. Baby. Has very much the same connotation as bubtion but is used in reference to a slightly younger age range. Bairns really are babies; bubtions could be just underdeveloped toddlers. Bairn is also used more often. I am told that it is derived from the Swedish word "barn", which means both "child" and "children". bampot n. Scottish. This is a wonderful word. Much as the sound suggests, a bampot is a person who is clumsily idiotic. As with a lot of our less-than-complimentary words, it isn't really offensive - it's used more in goading fun than anything else. bang v. Banging can be used in the UK to refer to the beautiful act of procreation. A gentleman who is particularly impressed with his lady-friend's abilities in the beautiful act of procreation may use a phrase like "she bangs like a barn door". bangers n. Sausages. Probably most often heard in the name of the dish "Bangers and mash" (i.e. sausages and mashed potato, but I hope to god you worked that out yourself). So called, I'm told, because they make popping noises when you cook them. bank holiday n. I did this under holiday. I'm not typing it all twice, so get clicking. bap n. 1. A small bread-roll. 2. Modern slang for a woman's breast - you might hear "get your baps out love" or the like. barmy adj. Idiotic, really. You might describe your father's plan to pioneer the first civillian moon landing using nothing but stuff he'd collected from a junkyard as "barmy". Well, of course, unless the junkyard he had in mind was out the back of Cape Kennedy and he had funding from China. I believe it derives from the fact that there was a psychiatric hospital in a place caled Barming, near Maidstone in Kent. barnet n. Your hair. Anoher example of Cockney Rhyming Slang that's slipped into the common vernacular - "Barnet Fair" / "Hair". Barnet is an area of London. barney n. An argument. Not sure where this one comes from - I've a faint idea that it might be rhyming slang, but a niggling belief that it's Australian. Any ideas? barrister n. This is a sort of lawyer in the UK. I think it's a court lawyer, but I'm not 100% sure. bash on expl. Okay, I know that this is another phrase sneaking in here. It's my dictionary, damnit. To "bash on" is to press on regardless - to keep struggling in the face of adversity. Nothing to do with hitting people. beaver v. OK, stop tittering. In British English, to beaver away is to work busily. However, these days you'd have difficulty saying it without a chorus of sniggers from the peanut gallery, as we also all know the American definition. It's the sort of thing your grandmother might say at Christmas dinner that would make the younger generations choke on their soup. bell end n. This is the end of one's nob, which devoid of a foreskin looks not completely unlike a church bell. If you don't have one to examine, ask a friend or neighbour. bender n. 1. A big drinking session. 2. Be careful, because this word is also a rather derogatory term for a homosexual. I believe it derives from the phrase "gender-bender", though a contributor points out to me that it could equally easily refer to the, erm, position adopted. berk n. Another friendly UK "idiot" word and one which implies a degree of clumsiness. I always think (no doubt mistakenly) that these are best explained by example - "Look, you berk, I said to bend it, not bust it". In one of the most enlightening emails I've had since starting the dictionary, I am told that the word originally derives from the rhyming slang "Berkely Hunt" - let's just say that, in the words of my contributor, "it doesn't mean punt". bespoke adj. Something described as "bespoke" is made especially for a particular client's requirements.. These days it's most likely to be seen used to describe computer software, but it could cover anything from limousines to suits. Americans would probably say "tailor made" or "customized". bevvy n. Another term for alcoholic drinks. Going out for a bevvy, however, is more likely to involve going out for a large number of alcoholic drinks than just one. You would be more likely to go out for a bevvy after you'd just miraculously survived a huge car accident than if you were nipping out during a working lunch. big end n. In a conventional combustion engine, the big end is the end of the conrod which is attached to the crankshaft, rather than the piston (that being the small end). Bill n. The Bill (also a popular UK television programme) refers to the police, in the same sort of a way as Plod. I am reliably informed that this is because the original proposal for a UK police service was put forward by a Member of Parliament named William Wilberforce. Never let it be said that this website doesn't provide a good quota of Culture. billion n. This means the same in both the UK and the US (i.e. a thousand million). It's here because some time ago in the UK it meant a million million, which no doubt caused a lot of confusion. We don't use it to mean that any more, thank goodness, though I'm told by a contributor that it used in exactly that way there, with an extra word "milliard" used to denote thousands of millions. bin n. Bin is simply a contraction of dustbin (which means trashcan, to save you going and looking it up). bint n. Woman, in the loosest sense of the word. One step short of a prostitute, a bint is a bird with less class, less selectivity, more makeup and even more skin. Blokes don't talk to bints unless they've had at least eight pints of beer, which is why bints turn up in free-for-students nightclubs at 2:45am with their faked student ID and dance around their Moschino rucksacks. I am told by a few contributors that the word derives from the Arabic for "daughter of". bird n. pron. "beud" (London); "burd" (Scotland). Woman. Again. Well, not really. Bird is used when one is looking upon the fairer sex with a slightly more carnal eye. It's not quite at the stage of treating women as objects but the implication is certainly there. Likely to be used in the context "I shagged some random bird last night" (a popular usage) or "hey, Andy, I think those birds over there are looking at us". You'd never describe your grandmother as a bird. It's popular in Scotland to refer to one's girlfriend as "ma burd" but do it in front of her and you'll be choking teeth. About the only thing worse would be to call her "ma bint", which will warrant a foot in the testicles and a loose tongue concerning your sexual prowess. I am told the word itself is derived from the old norse word for "woman". The nearest equivalent to bird in US English is probably chick. Biro n. The surname of one Hungarian journalist named Ladislo Biro, who invented a way of using thicker, quicker-drying ink in a hand-held pen by replacing the standard drip-stype fountain pen nib with a ball bearing, which rotated and moved ink from the inkwell to the writing surface. It's slipped into the common vernacular in the UK and the rest of Europe as a generic word for a ball-point pen. biscuit n. What we Brits call a biscuit, Americans call a cookie. An American biscuit is a soft, flakey savoury pastry eaten with gravy or butter. bitter n. What we Brits might call "proper beer", made with hops and served warm. None of this European/American fizzy lager stuff. Sterling stuff. Don't knock it 'til you've tried it. blag v. To wheedle something for free, in a context like "I managed to blag a ride to work". Perhaps if I sat for a bit longer I'd think up a better example. Hey ho. It is, I'm told, derived from the French "blague", meaning a tall story. Americans apparently use "mooch" and "moocher" in the same context. bleeding adj. This is similar to bloody and is really only used by Cockneys (i.e. in London). I have never in my life heard the trailing "g" actually being pronounced. blighter adj. Rather outdated now, blighter is a more refined, more upper-class version of bugger. Blighty n. This is a very antiquated term referring to Britain itself and seen most often these days in war films - "well chaps, I don't mind saying I'll be dashed pleased when we're out of this pickle and back in Blighty". You get the idea. It is derived from the Urdu word "Bilati" meaning "'provincial, removed at some distance" (Concise English Dictionary) and was one of the many words that slipped into English during Indian colonisation. blimey expl. A nice mild expletive, blimey is (in terms of rudeness) on a par with "wow" or "my goodness". It was originally part of the phrase "cor blimey", which was apparently a contraction of "god blind me" which was in turn an abbreviated version of "may god blind me if it is not so". To prevent alarm, though, it's worth saying that I've used this word a number of times and so far god has made no attempt whatsoever to blind me, whether what I was saying was true or not. Nowadays "cor blimey" is much rarer, but still used. blinking adj. This is a lesser equivalent to bloody. Slightly old-fashioned but still in widespread use. bloke n. pron. "blowk" (English); "bloke" (the rest of us). The closest American equivalent is guy, and it is pretty close. A bloke is a joe public, a random punter - any old guy off the street. Where it differs from guy is that it can't apply to your friends. You can't walk up to a group of your mates and say "Hi blokes, what's up?", as they'd all peer at you as if you'd been reading some strange cross-channel dictionary. The most common usage of the word bloke is almost definitely in the phrase "some bloke in the pub". bloody expl. Damn, another tricky word to define. Bloody is another great British multi-purpose swear word. Most well known as part of the phrase "Bloody hell!" which could best be described as an exclamation of surprise, shock or anger. Bloody can also be used in the middle of sentences for emphasis in a similar way to the ubiquitious f--- word ("And then he had the cheek to call me a bloody liar!") or even with particular audacity in the middle of words ("Who does she think she is, Cinde-bloody-rella?"). I am reliably informed by a contributor that bloody is in fact nothing to do with blood and actually a contraction of the phrase "by Our Lady". Sometimes I wonder whether it's worth putting in all these useful linguistic derivations when in actual fact you only got here because you were wondering what a poof was. blooming adj. An extremely innocuous expletive, blooming could be seen as a reduced-strength version of bloody. Rather antiquated nowadays. blow off v. Blowing off in the UK is not at all similar to blowing off in the US. While Americans know it as brushing someone off, British people use it as an alternative term for breaking wind. blower n. This is a slang word for the telephone (i.e. "just a second, I'm on the blower"). Yes, I know it sounds a bit rude. A contributor tells me it stems from the days of party telephone lines, where one would blow into the mouthpiece in order to gently remind whoever was using the line that you wanted to too. My contributor tells me her mother told her, so that's good enough confirmation for me. bob n. Before the UK's currency system was decimalised in 1972 (or was it '71) and became simply "pounds and pence", we had "pounds, shillings and pence". Like all crappy Imperial measures there wasn't ten or a hundred of anything in anything and good riddance to the lot of it. A bob was a Shilling, and these days it's still vaguely recognised as meaning five pence. Only vaguely, though. bobbie n. A bobbie is a policeman. The word is a straight abbreviation of Robert, after Robert Peel, who was instrumental in creating the police force in the UK. It's a little antiquated these days, but still in use a little. bobbins adj. Rubbish. It's quite recent slang, but I think rather charming. There's a part of a weaving loom called a bobbin, which I rather think is unrelated. Bob's your uncle expl. This generally means "and there you have it!" or "tada!". It's a little antiquated these days but by no means out of use. To give it a context, you would be more likely to hear "and then fold it back again, once over itself like that and Bob's your uncle - an origami swan!" rather than "keep going with the chemotherapy and with any luck, Bob's your uncle!". bodge n., v. To bodge something is to make a bit of a haphazard job of it - likewise a bodge is something that was cobbled together in this fashion. I'm told that a bodger was originally a craftsman who produced green-wood chair legs from a laithe; not entirely sure how it gained its less favourable definition. boff v. A slightly upper-class version of shag. boffin n. A boffin is someone who is particularly knowledgeable about his/her subject. Slightly less friendly than expert, calling someone a boffin suggests (much like nerd) that they have body odour and are virgins. Boffins are invariably male. bog n. One of our more... down-to-earth... words meaning toilet. More likely to be used in the context of "d'y'hear Fat Bob took a kicking in the bogs in Scruffy Murphy's?" rather than "I say, Mrs. Bryce-Waldergard, I'm awfully sorry to trouble you but I was wondering if you could point me in the direction of your bog?". bog standard n. This is the basic standard version of something. So your bog standard Volkswagen Golf would be one that doesn't have electric windows, power steering or opposable thumbs. Well nowadays a bog standard Golf probably does have two thirds of those things. I should really change the text to include some different example features, but it seems such a waste to delete something you've only just typed, and I can't be arsed. What we refer to as bog standard, Americans will often call "plain vanilla" or just "vanilla", a use of this word that doesn't exist in the UK outside of investment banking. As far as I know the term has nothing to do with our other use of the word bog to mean a toilet. bogie n. One of the charming little things everyone excavates from their nose now and again but likes to pretend they don't. Americans call them "boogers". bollard n. I believe this word is also known in some parts of the US, but universally in the UK these are the small concrete or metal poles generally used to stop cars from driving into certain places. I'm not entirely sure what the other Americans call them. If you ever wanted to invent a word, think of one for these. bollocks n. How do I put this delicately... bollocks are testicles. The word is in pretty common use in the UK (not in my house, of course!) and works well as a general "surprise" expletive in a similar way to bugger. The phrase "the dog's bollocks" is used to describe something particularly good (yes, good) - something like "see that car - it's the dog's bollocks, so it is". This in turn gives way to homonym phrases like "the pooch's privates" or "the mutt's nuts" which all generally mean the same thing. Oh, and this beer from Wychwood Brewery. The word has also slipped through the the State of Florida's censors in the wonderful form of this registration plate bolshie adj. Someone who's a bit of an upstart; a force to be reckoned with. Presumably derived from "Bolshevic", but why I have no idea. bonk v. In the UK, bonking is, well, the act of reproducing. Well, unless you're using some sort of contraceptive device I suppose. It's the act of practising reproduction, maybe. Oh, hell, you know what I mean. We do also share the US definition (a clunk/bash). bonnet n. Now, let me try and remember this. Hood. Or was it trunk. No, it was definitely hood. This is the part of a car that covers the engine. Confusion arises in the UK when dealing with rear-engined cars; it's difficult to determine whether to call it a bonnet or, as seems perhaps more logical, a boot, on account of it being at the back. The trials of modern life. Once you have this issue resolved in your mind's eye, do feel free to look up hood in here, because we Brits use it to describe a different part of a car completely. boot n. Trunk. The boot of a car is the part you keep your belongings in. So called because it was originally known as a "boot locker" - whether it used to be commonplace to drive in one's socks is anyone's guess. booze n. Alcoholic drinks of some sort. Likewise a booze-up is an event at which many alcoholic drinks are consumed. I'm told that it comes from the Middle English word bousen, meaning to carouse. boozer n. A pub, where one might enjoy consuming some booze. bottle n. Through some odd twist, this word has come also to mean something akin to "nerve". To "lose one's bottle" is to chicken out of something - often just described as "bottling it". Not sure how this came about. bounder n. This is a very antiquated word used to describe someone who's generally no good - a "bad egg". It's very old-fashioned - I suspect even Rudyard Kipling would have used it in jest. box n. This is the item that fits down the front of a bloke's underwear and, in the words of my school cricket master, "protects the crown jewels". Americans will know it as a "cup". Of course, I suspect they're also less bothered about protecting our crown jewels. Boxing Day n. This is the day immediately after Christmas Day (December 26th, for those of us not descended from Christianity), perhaps more officially known as St. Stephen's Day. In the UK, Australia, New Zealand and Canada this is a public holiday. braces n. Suspenders. The device used to pull your teeth around the place is called a brace (singular) in the UK. Beware of the cross-definition, though - in the UK, suspenders are something else entirely. brick n. To call someone a "brick" implies that they are dependable and will remain so in the face of adversity. A largely upper-class term, it is hardly in use nowadays. brill adj. A popular abbreviation for brilliant. brilliant adj. While the usual meanings (gifted or luminescent) are common to both the US and the UK, we in the UK also use brilliant to describe something which was particularly good. You might have a "brilliant holiday" or a "brilliant night out". It's a little bit childish - you'd be less likely to refer to a "brilliant board meeting" or a "brilliant shag". Popularly abbreviated to brill. brolly n. Simply an abbreviation of umbrella. brush n. This is our equivalent of a US broom. We use the word broom too (we don't talk about witches flying on brushsticks) but not as often. bubtion n. Scottish. A rather quaint Scottish word for baby (pronounced bub-shun). Means exactly the same thing, but has a slightly more cosy, affable air to it. You'd never refer to your baby as a bubtion if it had lately been sick on your three-piece suit and drooled in your cornflakes. bugger n. adj. v. Another superb multi-purpose Brit word. Buggery is sodomy but the word has far more uses than this. Calling someone a bugger is an inoffensive insult (in a similar way to git) and telling someone to bugger off is a friendlier alternative to the f-word. It can also be used as a stand-alone expletive in a similar way to bollocks - "Oh, bugger!" bum n. This is the British version of butt. What the Americans call bums we call tramps. bumf n. Copious amounts of paperwork or literature - you might hear people talk about the stack of bumf that came with their new video-recorder. A contributor tells me it derives from the army and is a contraction of the phrase "bum fodder", meaning toilet paper. busk v. To busk is to sit in the street playing an instrument and hoping people will give you money for it. I should imagine that it's a fairly unrewarding pursuit although, having said that, a friend of mine made two hundred quid busking with a set of bagpipes over two days during the Edinburgh Festival. I think most of the money came from Americans who weren't quite sure what a ten-pound note was worth in dollars. butcher's n. This is Cockney rhyming slang for "look" (butcher's hook / look). butty n. A butty is a colloquial name for something served in a chippie inside a roll, a folded-over piece of bread or (I'm told) just a sandwich. To the best of my knowledge the most common application is a chip butty but you can also buy bacon or fish butties without seeming strange. I can only presume that the word derives from the fact that there is usually as much butter as roll. camp adj. This is a tricky one to define. It basically described a man who is a stereotypically effeminate homosexual. If someone is being camp, you could tell their sexuality from the way they walk, talk, stand, gesture - it's very much on show. If you have heard of an Englishman (and latterly New Yorker) named Quentin Crisp, he was the very epitome of camp. And even if you haven't heard of him, I imagine he still was. Americans will say "flamer" meaning much the same thing, though interestingly I've heard that Americans do use the word "camp" to mean old-fashioned or preposterous humour - the example I was given was Monty Python. candy floss n. The revolting foodstuff one can buy at fairgrounds which resembles a giant blob of fibreglass wrapped around a stick. Americans call it "cotton candy". car park n. The place where you park your vehicle while shopping, working, etc. As far as I am concerned, car park is a far better description than parking lot - the latter sounds as if your car is going to be auctioned while you're in Wal-Mart. Additionally, the large buildings composed of many floors of just parking spaces are called multi-storey car parks in the UK but parking garages in the US. caravan n. A terrible device which attaches to the back of your car and allows you to take your whole family on holiday at minimal expense and with maximum irritability. They don't really exist in the US - as far as I know Americans either have trailers (which are deposited on their final resting site by a truck and rarely, if ever, moved) and motor homes. We have both of these too, but caravans are a lighter, more portable version of a mobile home which attach to the back of a normal saloon car. They're pretty much peculiar to the UK, I think. carrier bag n. This is just the plastic bag that you are given your shopping in, which Americans call a shopping bag instead. casual v. Scottish. A pretty close Scottish equivalent to "yob", with the notable exception that "casuals" will actually refer to themselves as such while yobs certainly would not. Dotted around Edinburgh is graffiti advertising the services of the "Craiglockart Casual Squad". Craiglockart being hardly one of the worst areas of Edinburgh, I can only imagine that they'd turn up and insult your intelligence, or throw truffles through your windows. central reservation n. Far from being a sought-after restaurant booking, this is in fact what we Brits call the grassy area in the centre of a motorway which is there to stop you colliding with oncoming traffic quite as easily as you might. Americans call it the "median". chancer n. Quite literally, a "chancer" is someone who is a bit of a taker of chances - generally those that involve things on the greyer side of society. "Chancers" are the sorts of people who buy random domain names in the hope someone will offer them a pile of money for them, or put all their money on the rank outsider in the 12:45 at Chepstow. chap n. A more upper-crust equivalent to "bloke". Nowadays only really seen in a tongue-in-cheek way or in 1950s Enid Blyton childrens books. It would read something along the lines of "I say chaps, let's go and visit that strange old man with the raincoat at Bog End Cottage and see if he has any more special surprises for us!". Jolly hockeysticks. charva n. This is a new word in the UK to describe a range of people I think I've already described in my definition of 'pikey'. Not sure where the word came from. The Internet, I'll warrant. Everything these days comes from there. cheeky adj. To be cheeky is just short of being rude (in the sense of offensive, not dodgy). You're being cheeky if you make a joke that you can only just get away with without getting into trouble. cheerio expl. This is a fairly old-fashioned and light-hearted way of saying goodbye. I once made the mistake of writing here that I had no idea what it had to do with the American breakfast cereal of the same name. Well, I was quickly informed that the breakfast cereal was once called "Cheeri Oats" but because that was, well, crap they changed it. More information than you could ever want on the subject at Cheerios own site. cheers expl. Although traditionally cheers is used as a toast, it has become a substitute for "thank you" in informal conversation. cheesy adj. For reasons I cannot fathom, describing something as "cheesy" means it is embarassingly tacky or cliched - you might use it to describe the ending of most films, or the time your brother proposed while reenacting the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet. chemist n. The chemist is where you'd go to buy pharmaceutical drugs. Americans call it a straight drugstore, which implies to Brits that you could just buy Class A narcotics over the counter. These days it's acceptable in both Britain and America to call the place a pharmacy. We do still call a person who works with chemicals a chemist, as Americans do. chippie n. Ubiquitous abbreviation of fish-and-chip shop. Also a colloquial name for a carpenter - I can only presume that this derives from the wood chippings they produce. All a far cry from the US, where apparently a chippie is an attractive young woman for whom (I quote my source) "Intelligence is questionable, but not necessarily in a
bad way. More naive than stupid." Strangely similar in a way to our own definition, but you're less likely to find that your husband has run off with a chippie in the UK. Unless he's a Member of Parliament. chips n. Fries. However, it's lately been popular to call "thin" chips fries (I blame McDonalds) so Brits at least know what fries are these days. Classic chips can be obtained from a chip shop ("chippie") and are a great deal more unhealthy. They also vary quite creatively - if you buy them at nine o'clock in the evening they are hard, black and crunchy (because they've been cooking since 6:30pm when the dinner rush came through) but if you buy them at 3am you will find them very akin to raw potatoes, right down to the green bits in the middle (because they want all of these drunk punters out of the door so they can go home). Since writing this, I have been told by a contributor that British chips are in fact more healthy than fries - something to do with surface area and fat. Trust me, though... the British ones still look pretty gruesome. chivvy v. To hurry someone along with something. If you want an example, you can have something like "I was pretty sure I'd be up until 1am daydreaming instead of doing my homework, but my mum chivvied me on with it and I was done fairly early." chock-a-block adj. Closely packed together. You might use the phrase to describe your dating schedule or your attic, unless you are unforgivably ugly and you live in a flat, in which case you'd have to think up something else to use it on. These examples are provided as-is, they don't necessarily work for everyone. I'm told by one contributor that the word has a quite dark (no pun intended) origin, as it refers to the area where black slaves were once lined up on blocks to be sold. However, I'm told by some more that it's a maritime referring to when a block and tackle were jammed against each other to stop the load moving. chocolate drops n. Not being a culinary wizard I can't really comment on this one but I am reliably informed that what we Brits call chocolate drops, Americans call chocolate chips. Which is fortunate, because the idea of chocolate chips is enough to turn the stomach. chuff v. To chuff is to fart. Entirely seperate to the word chuffed so use with care. chuffed adj. Someone who describes themselves as being chuffed is generally happy with life. You can also get away with saying you are unchuffed or dischuffed if something gets your back up. Make sure you only use this word in the correct tense and familiarise yourself with the meaning of the word chuff too. cider n. I've had a few mails about this, largely saying lots of different things as usual. In fact, truth be told, I seem to be adding this word for the first time but I could have sworn it was in here already. It's not out of the question I have deleted it while pissed. Well, here it is back again. Or here for the first time. "Cider" in both the UK and the US refers to apple juice - however, in the UK it is quite definitely always alcoholic (and often extremely so) whilst in the US it is almost always not alcoholic. I've had a lot of mail about this ranging from whether it ought to have bits floating in it or not to some quite enlightening stories from people who've drunk too much of it. It's all been very interesting. cinema n. This is what Americans call the "theater", or just "the movies". clap n. Here in the UK, "giving someone a clap" means applauding them (in the same way as Americans might give someone a "hand"). Not to be confused with giving someone the Clap, which means the same thing on both sides of the Atlantic. clobber n., v. Clothing; vestments. You might hear "ok, ok, I'll be out in two minutes once I've got my nightclubbing clobber on". It's possible this definition is of Scottish origin - enlightenment appreciated. We Brits do also use "clobber" to mean hitting something, as do Americans. close n. As well as all of the meanings you'd expect, a close, (pronounced in the same way as the close in "close to me", rather than "close the door") is a residential street with no through road; a cul de sac. coach n. A coach is very much the same as a bus. The word is generally used in the UK for longer-haul buses (50 miles plus). The difference between a coach and a bus is that a coach tends to have a loo, not so much chewing gum attached to the seats and fewer old ladies hacking up phlegm in the back. Coaches make up for these missing comforts ensuring that all travellers have set themselves up as comfortably as they can. This means that there are half as many seats (because everyone has a bag next to them) and all you can hear throughout the journey is a baby that needs burping and some twelve-year-old drug addict's Walkman. We Brits do not use "coach" to refer to economy class seats on an aircraft; that's a peculiarly American thing. cobblers n. Something (usually a statement) described as cobblers is rubbish; nonsense. It's quite an informal term; you'd be more likely to use it in response to your mate's claims he can down fifteen pints in a sitting than while giving evidence in a murder trial. I am told it is rhyming slang - "cobbler's awls -> balls". This may be true. Who knows. cockney n., adj. A person from the east/south-east end of London. They have a distinctive accent, which the rest of us make our finest attempts to mimic after a few pints. cock-up n. v. To cock-up is to make a complete mess of something. You'd use it along the lines of "I went to a job interview today and cocked it up completely". It may look like another innocent little Brit phrase that's terribly rude for Americans but I suspect there's a little more to it than that because we also use the phrase "balls-up" meaning the same thing. Although, ironically enough, "balls-up" is seen as a lot less rude. codswallop n. A rather antiquated but superb word meaning "nonsense". The etymology leads to an English gentleman named Hiram Codd, who in 1872 came up with the idea of putting a marble and a small rubber ring just inside the necks of bottles in order to keep fizzy beer ("wallop", in old English) fizzy. The idea was the the pressure of the fizz would push the marble against the ring, thereby sealing the bottle airtight. Unfortunately, the thing wasn't nearly as natty as he'd hoped and "codd's wallop" slid into the language first as a disparaging comment about flat beer and eventually as a general term of abuse. collywobbles n. I'm not sure how, but if you have the collywobbles, or something has given you the collywobbles, it just means you're afraid. cooker n. The cooker is the machine which does the actual cooking of your food - while this is a peculiarly British term, the word oven is used both in the UK and the US to mean exactly the same thing. cop off v. Copping off with someone is snogging them (usually for the first time). I am told that the phrase is derived from a contraction of "copulate". copper n. Policeman. I was under the impression that this was due to the copper buttons they originally wore on their uniforms. However, another contributor has told me that the term is derived from the Latin "capere" which means simply "to capture". As both of these sources seem equally viable (and I certainly haven't a clue), I'm leaving them both in here. You would have thought that the American word "cop" derived from this, but I have been told by various different people that it is an acronym for "Constable on Patrol" or "Constable of the Police". cot n. The thing a baby sleeps in. Well, unless your baby sleeps in the garden or something. What Brits call a cot, Americans call a crib. cotton buds n. These are the little plastic rods with blobs of cotton on either end. They're known better in the US as cotton swabs or Q-Tips (a brand name). When I came back from Tenerife with an ear-infection I deduced had come from swimming in the sea, I got a telling-off from the doctor for attempting to cure myself with the aid of some cotton buds. Apparently you should never poke anything at all into your ears. Medical advice dispensed here at no extra cost. cotton wool n. The little furry blobs that women use to remove makeup and men use to clean inlet manifolds. Cotton wool is known in the US simply as cotton ball. council house n. Housing built by the government and meted out to the needy, so they can reproduce and smoke pot in it. It was largely the brainchild of a Labour government but when the Conservatives took power in 1979 they had the fantastic idea of allowing the tenants (generally working-class Labour voters) the option of buying their council houses at a discount to market value, which proved wonderfully popular. It also made it rather tricky for Labour to reverse the plan when they attained power in 1997, as it had made a great many of their upstanding supporters substantially richer. Anyway, Americans (I believe) call this sort of accomodation "public housing" or "projects". courgette n. Although a rather pleasant word, our courgette is more than amply replaced by America's fantastic zucchini. I wonder if there's anything behind the fact that they both look like they ought to be sports cars. I'm sure someone's written a thesis on it somewhere. court shoes n. These are lightweight heeled women's dress shoes with enclosed toes, known better to Americans as "pumps". I hasten to add that I know this because a contributor told me, and not because I wear them. cowboy n. I'm not exactly sure how this ended up meaning something different on our side of the Atlantic, but in Britain describing someone as a cowboy means they're a useless fly-by-knight bodger. crack n. Okay, this is actually spelled "craic" but pronounced "crack". It's a Gaelic (Irish) word describing fun and frolics to be had with other people - the craic might be what makes a particular pub fun, or a wedding bearable. crikey expl. A general (very British) expression of surprise. It's a rather elderly word and a little esoteric these days - you can most imagine it being used in a context something like "crikey, Eustace - it looks like Cambridge are going to win after all!" I am told it is some sort of derivation from "Christ". crisps n. Chips. This particular confusion caused me no end of troubles in the US - I've never been so disappointed with a bag of chips in my life (I'd even have preferred the 3am green ones). crumbs expl. A general expression of surprise - much akin to something like "god", or "bloody hell". But naturally without the ghastly use of our saviour's name in vain or any swearing. It's quite alright to use in polite company, though perhaps a little antiquated. More likely to be heard in a context like "crumbs, that's more expensive than Harrods" rather than "crumbs, I just dropped the smack out the window". crumpet n. 1. A small scone-like teacake. I'm leaving this a bit vague because I don't know exactly why it's different from a scone, apart from being a bit less crumbly. 2. Coming from rhyming slang for strumpet (a woman adulterer), crumpet refers to women in a similar (although a little more old-fashioned) way to totty. Suffice to say that if you were out looking for some crumpet of an evening, you wouldn't be intending sleeping alone. In fact, you may not be intending to sleep at all. We Brits do concur with Americans on the "official" meaning of crumpet (a small savoury piece usually eaten with afternoon tea) but it would be difficult to mention it in the UK without someone at the table collapsing in fits of giggles. curtains n. While we in the UK will call any cloth covering a window curtains, Americans tend to call longer ones drapes. cushions n. We Brits call the small pillows that one scatters over your living-room chairs "cushions" - Americans will know them as "pillows". We both call the things you put your head on in bed "pillows", for what it's worth. custard n. Okay, this is going to sound a bit disgusting but you'll have to believe that it's not. Custard is a sort of yellowy-looking dessert sauce made from egg yolks and milk. We pour it on top of things like apple crumble and sponges. CV n. A CV is what we Brits call what Americans know as a resumé. CV stands for curriculum vitae and means "life's work" in Latin. And before any Americans mail me saying how ridiculous it is that we named our personal mini-biographies in Latin, I can only mention the fact that yours appear to be named in French. Actually, having put this description up on the site I've had a few mails from indignant Yanks saying that they do have CVs after all. As far as I can gather, an American CV is a list of published work or research done - a sort of more academic version of a resumé. dado n. Also known as a "dado rail", this is the decorative wooden track that some people think is nice to have around walls around the height of a chair back. Americans call it a "chair rail". To confuse things slightly, a "dado" to an American carpenter is a slot in a piece of wood (usually for fitting shelves or cabinets) which we Brits call a "rebate" or "housing". I say "we", but I wouldn't have known what to call it unless someone had emailed me telling me. Sometimes I wonder if I learn more from this thing than anyone else does. daft adj. Someone who is described as daft is what we stoic Brits might call "not the full shilling". Daft can range from the absent-minded ("You've forgotten to put petrol in it, daft woman!") to the criminally insane ("Well, once we let him out of the boot he went completely daft!"). dago n. This is a rather uncharitable (and slightly antiquated) term for a Spanish person. So far I've had two decent suggestions as to its source. One is that it is a slightly abbreviated "Diego", that being of course a popular Spanish name; I'm also told that it is a contraction of San Diego (named after Santiago, the patron saint of Spain). damper n. This is the part of vehicle suspension that American calls a "shock absorber". It's the devices that stop the suspension from bouncing (rather than particularly absorbing any shock). dapper adj. Rather outdated nowadays (I know the feeling), dapper is used to describe someone who is very much the country squire - well-spoken, well-dressed and rather upper-class. Because of the unpopularity of the upper classes in the UK recently, this is almost a mild insult despite once being a complement. dear adj. As well as all the usual meanings, dear means "expensive" to a Brit. It is a little bit antiquated, but still in pretty widespread use. demister n. The little network of electrical wires that weave around your car's rear window and are intended to remove frost - Americans more sensibly call them defrosters. They are perhaps referred to as demisters in the UK because our devices have precious little chance of getting rid of mist, let alone frost. diddle v. A sort of minor swindle. A colleague might diddled you out of getting the best seats at the game; you'd be less likely to tell of when your grandparents were diddled out of their fortune, leaving them peniless beggars. I'm told that diddling in the US is, well, wanking to us Brits. And applies only to ladies, and even then only in a slightly more specific way that modesty prevents me detailing here. digestive n. As well as having the normal meaning of anything pertaining to the digestion, we Brits use this word to describe a round biscuit that one generally dunks in one's tea. Whether it aids the digestion or not, who can tell. dinner n. In the North of England, dinner is what the rest of us call lunch (the meal at mid-day). This is a bit of a generalisation - the words "dinner", "tea", "lunch" and "supper" seem to be assigned to meals spattered randomly around the day in both American and English regional dialects. dither v. A tricky one to explain (for me at least) - dithering is the art of delaying, swithering and generally procrastinating over making definite decisions about something. You may say that the people you'd sold your house to were dithering about over getting the money together. divvy n. As well as sharing the American meaning (i.e. to divide up), we also use this as yet another of our words for accusing people of being idiots. Likely derived from "divot", meaning "clod". Nice and tame, calling someone a divvy is much on a par with telling them they are a pillock. doddle adj. Something very easy. You might hear Michael Schumacher use the word to describe Formula One, but you wouldn't hear Brian Blessed using it to describe Mount Everest. dodgem n. A British dodgem is an American "bumper-car", as you might find at a fairground. Odd that the British name should imply that the aim of the game is quite the opposite of what it is. dodgy adj. If something or someone is described as dodgy, this means that they are either shady ("I bought it off some dodgy punter in the pub") or sexually suggestive ("The old bloke in the office keeps saying dodgy things to me at the coffee machine"). dog-end n. The stubbed-out end of a cigarette - I'm afraid I haven't the faintest idea from whence this comes. More commonly we use the term "butt", like our friends across the Atlantic. I mean our usage of the term is like them, not that they are butts. dog's bollocks n. See under bollocks I'm not writing it twice. dog's breakfast n. If you make a complete mess of doing something, the end result might be described as a "dog's breakfast". Why the dog should have any worse breakfast than the rest of us, I have no idea. dogsbody n. Some sort of lowly servant - your dogsbody would likely be the person who polished your shoes, emptied your bins and cleaned your loo. That is, if you were lucky enough to have someone like that. I certainly don't. The etymology is anyone's guess. dole n. The dole is an allocation of money that the government gives to unemployed people, ostensibly to help them eat and clothe themselves during their fervent search for gainful employment but really for buying fags and lager. American loafers are the beneficiaries of a similar system known as welfare. dolt n. A good proportion of this dictionary can be summed up in a simple phrase. If, as a foreigner travelling around the UK, you come across a word whose meaning you are unaware of, make the assumption that it means "idiot". Dolt is a prime example. dosh n. Money. This is a fairly London-based term but was popularised by Harry Enfield's song Loadsamoney. doss v. To sit about not doing much. You might describe one of your less-producive colleagues as a dosser, because he (or she, I suppose - laziness is not quite confined to males) sits around dossing all the time. dowdy adj. Dowdy is simply drab and dull - most often used to describe the way someone dresses and used in a similar context to the Australian "daggy". Of course, if you've never heard the context in which Australians use "daggy", this only serves to complicate matters. dozy adj. Perhaps most kindly represented by the word slow. Someone described as dozy might be a little sluggish at picking things up. draught n. The sort of flap inside the chimney of an open fire which you can open or close to allow more or less air into the hearth. Americans call it a "damper", which sadly we've already used for something else. draughts n. This is the board game where each player gets sixteen pieces and takes the opponent's by jumping over them diagonally. I mean the pieces jump diagonally, not the players. In the US it's known as "checkers". drawing-pin n. A pin with a fairly large flat head - known better to Americans by the slightly more descriptive term "thumb-tack". dressing gown n. A dressing gown is what Americans call a bathrobe. The outfit that you wear when you've come out of the bath to answer the door like attractive young ladies tend to do in coffee advertisements. dual carriageway n. What we call a dual carriageway the Americans call a divided highway. There is often very little difference between a dual carriageway and a motorway except that learner drivers are not allowed onto motorways. dummy n. As well as being an insult and a mannekin, in the UK a dummy is one of those teat-things you put in babies' mouths to stop them crying. Americans call them pacifiers. Durex n. In the UK, Durex is a large (possibly the largest, I'm not sure) manufacurer of condoms. The word "Durex" has therefore slipped into the language (no pun intended) as yet another way for us repressed Brits to avoid actually saying "condom". A very similar thing happened in the US with "Trojan". As an aside (though one that quite a few people have pointed out, so I'm including it here is to stop you going on about it), Durex to an Australian is sticky-tape. There, it's in now. Quit hassling me. dustbin n. What we know as a dustbin, Americans will be more familiar with as a trashcan. How familiar you want to be with a dustbin is entirely up to you. dustman n. I presume dustwoman is also appropriate in these heady days of sexual equality. Anyway, a dustman is the person who collects your rubbish from outside your house - Americans call them garbagemen. duvet n. This is the big puffy quilt thing that covers you in bed at night these days, assuming you no longer sleep under old-fashioned sheets. Americans call a duvet a "comforter". Dux n. Fairly old-fashioned, this is still used (generally in private schools) to denote the "best student" of a class year. I'm told that Americans have "valedictorians" instead, which somehow sounds much grander. dynamo n. 1. This is the device that takes power from the engine to recharge your battery as you drive along. Or, in the case of my own fine automobile, takes power from the engine and dribbles it lazily into the ether. This is in fact a pretty old-fashioned term - nowadays pretty much everyone calls them "alternators", which is what Americans call them. I probably ought to take this out really, but it seems such a shame now I've wasted all these words on it. To waste yet a few more, a contributor tells me that a dynamo actually isn't an alternator, because an alternator generates three-phase alternating current (as opposed to a dynamo's direct current, as I'm sure you knew) and doesn't have any brushes. Go figure, as an American might say. 2. I realise this perhaps doesn't merit two inclusions, but the device you attach to a bicycle wheel to power things (usually just your lights, I suspect) was and still is called a "dynamo" in the UK. Not sure about the US. eejit n. It's not out of the question that I've spelled this wrong. No, wait. It's almost inevitable that I've spelled this wrong. Means simply "idiot", and I can only guess that it is derived from something like a phonetic representation of an Irish person saying exactly that. Elastoplast n. A slightly older word meaning the same as plaster in British English. Much the same as the US "Bandaid", to save you looking it up. elevenses n. This is a rather old-fashioned word used to describe a mid-morning snack. I can only assume it is derived somehow from eleven o'clock. engaged adj. Busy. Well, that is to say engaged in a telephone call. Many sit-coms have for years sustained plot lines built around the truly hilarious "engaged in a phone call/engaged to be married" mix-up. estate n., adj. While most uses of this word are transatlantically the same, we call an estate car what Americans call a station wagon. estate agent n. The people who deal with the niggly legal aspects of house buying and selling, and generally charge what seems like an unusually large fee for doing so. Americans call them realtors (no doubt among other unmentionable names, as we tend to do here). fag n. Be exceedingly careful with this one. 1. "fag" is a very common (probably the most common) word meaning cigarette. One of the most amusing e-mails I've had concerning this page was from an American who had arrived at her company's UK offices to be told that the person she was looking for was "outside blowing a fag". 2. Almost worse, "fag" was used until recently to describe first year senior-school kids who had to perform menial tasks (cleaning boots, running errands and the like) for the seniors. A contributor tells me that he was met with aghast looks when he told a group of New Yorkers that he "was a fag at school last year". Modern thinking on slavery has seen that the practice of "fagging" has all but died out. faggot n. In the UK, a faggot is a meatball. In the US, a faggot is a male homosexual. In reality, the American definition is known (if not really used) UK-wide, so most of the jokes involving "faggots in brine" have already been made. I am told that in the US the word (spelled with only one 'g') also means a small bundle of twigs, so the phrase "toss another fagot on the fire" is not quite the incitement to violence that it might seem. fancy v. As well as the standard meaning, Brits use the word fancy to refer to being keen on a particular member of the opposite sex. Seen in the contexts of "I really fancy that chap from the coffee shop" or "Hey, Stu, I think that bird over there fancies you!" fanny n. This is another word which could leave you abroad and in dire straits. In the US, your fanny is your posterior and a fanny pack translates directly to what we Brits call a bum bag. In the UK, however, your fanny is - well, let's just say you only have a fanny if you're a girl; this is a family dictionary. Which does beg the question: what is a fanny pack? film n. Movie. We Brits don't go to the movies, we go to the cinema to see films. We do understand the American word, we just don't use it. We do also use "film" to mean the actual celluloid, which is no doubt why we started calling the end product that too. filth n. I ought to mention at this juncture that just because words are in this fine tome doesn't mean to say that I use them regularly. That said... filth is used in the UK as a slightly-less-than-complimentary monicker for our fine police force. fit adj. To describe someone as fit is very similar to describing them as tidy. A fit bird is a fine specimen of the fairer sex, and one described as "fit as a butcher's dog" might be particularly nice. fizzy drink n. Our generic term for carbonated drinks - Americans differ across the country but seem to generally say something like "soda" or perhaps "pop". flannel n. 1. A slightly old-fashioned homonym for "face-cloth". 2. Nonsense. Not sure of the derivation. flat n. A flat is an appartment or a condominium. Having been enlightened by a contributor, I can tell you that it derives from the Germanic Old English word "flet", meaning "floor" (a flat occupies only one floor of a building). flatmate n. British flatmates are American roommates.
bagsie v. To bagsie something is to stake your claim for it in the same way that Americans would claim "dibbs" on something or "call" it. As usual, when my hopeless grasp of the language fails me I shall resort to examples. You'd hear it in sentences like "I bagsie the back seat" or "Bagsie first shot on the dodgems!". It's a rather childlike sentiment; you would be less likely to hear "I bagsie being Financial Director". It doesn't seem ridiculously far-fetched that it's derived from "bags I", with the "bag" meaning to catch something. But hey, who can tell.
cack n. This is synonymous with "shit". So "I've cacked myself" and "the club was okay but the music was cack" would both be equally valid. I'd say it's well-known in the UK but perhaps not all that widely used.
daddy long-legs n. We're not a million miles apart here. Brits think daddy-long-legs are crane flies, a family, part of the Diptera, Pholcidae, whereas Americans think daddy-long-legs are a whole order, the Opiliones, called harvestmen on both sides of the Atlantic. Pictures of them both at TheFreeDictionary.com, amusingly accompanied by a link saying "Daddy Long Legs on eBay - find daddy long legs items at low prices", when I looked at it.
Ecosse n. I am breaking the rules fairly appalingly by including this word. Ecosse is what the French call Scotland. It's in here only because the Sunday Times newspaper uses the word as a section title. The word is also known reasonably widely around the UK - the only Scottish motor-racing team anyone's ever heard of was called "Ecurie Ecosse".
faff v. To faff is to bumble about doing things that aren't quite relevant to the task in hand (much akin, as a contributor points out, to the American "pussyfoot"). You'll often find it used when men are complaining about women faffing around trying on different sets of clothes before going out, using up valuable drinking time.
